Thoughts on Beloved Sports Movies (Part I)

(Note: This is only the first installment of a segment that will surely return later.)

"Rocky": What do you think the Vegas odds on Rocky going the distance were? The announcer mentions before the fight that "Vegas odds say 'No'", but the odds are never given. 100 to 1? 1000 to 1? Also, Gazzo, the guy Rocky worked for breaking thumbs and such, clearly had some major cash on Rocky (given his enthusiasm for the fight). What happened to the money he won? I guess this question is akin to "What would Maurice Clarett do if he came into a fortune?". Answer for yourself so I'm not held liable (by the way, Mr. Clarett apparently has a blog in prison, so take a look: http://mauriceclarett.wordpress.com/). The last thing I need is an angry ex-Buckeye with a history of violence coming after me.

"Mighty Ducks": Is "the Oreo line" not the most racist title for a group of three kids ever uttered on the silver screen? How did that get by Disney censors? Not that I don't love it... subtle racism in a childrens' movie is always good for a chuckle. It was just so flagrant... then again, what can we expect from a movie starring Emilio Estevez as the only responsible adult?
A few more things about Mighty Ducks that my brothers and I have discussed over the years (some of these apply to Mighty Ducks II and III):
1) Are we to believe that Trinidad and Tobago made the Junior Goodwill games while Russia did not? If you're going to reach, reach for a country that introduces some serious questions. Like Somalia.
2) Since when is Iceland the world power in hockey? Why not pick the lower-hanging fruit and choose Canada? That way you could have the awesome unintentional comedy of a mean Canadian coach. And for a bonus, that coach could've been Barry Melrose, who was at the height of his mullet-glory.
3) Luis Mendoza... the worst sports character of all time. What good is a kid if he lacks the ability to exhibit the fundamentals of the sport he's playing? That's like putting Kenny Lofton on the USA Olympic hockey team. Sure, he's fast, but he can't really do much of anything else (on second thought, that would be awesome and I would pay prodigious amounts of money to see that). In a related story, why did Jan feel the need to repeatedly and meticulously build a wall of cans (which appears to have taken hours) when he knew there was a 99.9% chance the kid was going to take it out? A large cardboard box wouldn't have sufficed?
4) When Dwayne ropes in the Iceland player preparing to rape Connie, why do the refs make up the "roping" penalty? "Roughing" wouldn't suffice? Although I guess officials are in the habit of making up penalties, with hilarious consequences (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6D8aAC4jrPM&feature=related and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eslz06J9hFw&feature=related are two great examples).
5) Goldberg... a fat Jewish (and possible Hispanic) goalie? Really? I guess that strategy should be used more often in sports: take the groups of people that aren't known for playing a particular sport, combine them, and place a team's entire season on them. Worked for the Ducks.

"Rudy": One of the most beloved football movies of all time, I definitely need to take some shots at it. I love this movie just as much as anybody, but there are definitely some things about it that irk me.
1) I understand the whole "following a dream thing", but how many lives do you have to ruin to do it? Rudy leaves a trail of hurt people behind him to, in the end, play one down in a game where the result wasn't in doubt. Was it worth it? Was it? I guess if I lived in Indiana I'd just want to get out too, no matter how many people I took down in my wake.
2) Who thought it was a good idea to paint Jon Favreau as a nerd that needed SEAN ASTIN (of all people) to instill confidence in him? Anyone who's seen "Swingers" can't possibly watch Rudy and say "Okay, Favreau was right for the part.". Granted, in "Swingers" he played the same kind of guy (that is, a guy with no balls that needs to just get laid), but at least he had Vince Vaughn to "baby" and "money" him to the finish (if you don't get it, rent the movie).
3) A simple mistake (one that I actually posted on IMDB) that should be caught by every college football fan out there annoys me every time. In the final game in the movie, his family enters the stadium for a Notre Dame - Georgia Tech football game, but the band on the field is playing "The Nittany Lion", not "Ramblin' Wreck". Rudy, please.

So that covers three of my favorite sports movies of all time. There are a large number left to take down a few notches, so I'll probably be writing about them at a later date. Hope you enjoyed reading.